My grandmother just entered a hospice tonight and is not expected to make it much more than a couple of days. My flight to Oregon to see her leaves early this morning. I want to sit and hold her hand even if she doesn't know me and is barely aware of my presence.
My regret is that I didn't go a couple of years ago when she would still know me. I should have found a way to take my kids and go see her. They needed to know their great grandma. We all need that family connection, especially since her oldest son--my dad-- died so young. I would think I was too busy, couldn't afford it, etc. Blah blah blah. Now she is almost gone and my kids never knew her.
Don't hold back love. Give and give and give.
I wish I had spent a little more down time with my mom. So much of my time was spent caring for her that I didn't have much time for just visiting, playing games, watching movies. I also should have brought her more fresh flowers. We women love our flowers.
Don't get me wrong, I am not wallowing in self-pity or guilt, just expressing the "I wish-es" I am going through right now.
"Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus." Phillipians 3:13b-14
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