Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Suffering with Job


I am blown away to read how Job, after losing not only his wealth but also his family in one fell swoop, then with his body ravaged by horrific illness and painful oozing sores with friends berating him, clings to his sure hope in God, for his Living Redeemer. A true inspiration, indeed!
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Job 19:25-27 - New Living Translation


Have you ever, when going through a health crisis or other personal crisis, had well-meaning friends decide to pray over you for forgiveness of your sin? Job's friends weren't even THAT good! They were more concerned about building up themselves than lifting up their brother in faith.

I’ve been there, had someone decide that my difficult post-op healing and even the need for the emergency surgery were due to my sin.  Seriously?   But if I am honest with myself and others, I've also been that person that was far from the encourager.   This will really make me think twice when I am tempted to place a judgment, even if only in my mind, on another believer’s life situation.  We have no idea what spiritual warfare is going on, what is transpiring in the heavenly realms.  Job was chosen for suffering, and he brought God glory.  Look at how all these thousands of years later believers still draw encouragement from how he drew upon his faith.  

Be a Job.  If God doesn’t call you to suffer, be a much better friend to someone whom God DOES call to suffer.  Encourage and prop them up when they are down.  That very person is as one that is talked about in Hebrews 11, referenced in Hebrews 12:1-2:

"Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us,looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God."

Go back to Hebrews 11 and read about the great cloud of witnesses, those great men of faith of pressed on through difficult circumstances.  They had no idea that people throughout the ages would draw strength from their words and actions.  

Be a Job. or be a friend to a Job.

Wednesday, February 1, 2012

When the going gets tough, the tough...

           ...take a nap? ...drink a toddy and wait for it to pass? ...go shopping? ...pull up themselves up by their bootstraps?  My first reaction to lots of pressure is to take a bath.  It gives me time to get by myself where my kids won't bother me so I can think...or just relax before I try to think.  But seriously,  the going does get tough, and as a believer in the Living God I just have to be ready for that.  "Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds,"  James 1:1-3.  The apostle Paul didn't say "if you face trials;" he intended for us to know we would indeed face difficulties.  But what's this about joy in trials?  Why should I rejoice about my crises? Paul answers that question over and over, but here's a favorite of mine:


1 Peter 1:6-7
 6 In all this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. 7These have come so that the proven genuineness of your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed.


          Wow!  The end result is refining of my faith so that God will be glorified!  When God is glorified, others are drawn to the Father.  I can live with that knowing my suffering is only momentary in light of eternity.
           Back to the original question: What do I do--what should believers do-- when the going gets tough?  Paul also tells us that he sends other believers to encourage us and build us up in our faith so that we will be ready for the rough stretches.  
 
1 Thessalonians 3:2-4
2 We sent Timothy, who is our brother and co-worker in God’s service in spreading the gospel of Christ, to strengthen and encourage you in your faith, 3 so that no one would be unsettled by these trials. For you know quite well that we are destined for them. 4 In fact, when we were with you, we kept telling you that we would be persecuted. And it turned out that way, as you well know.


          Since I am destined for trials, it would seem then that during the smooth, easy times I need to be soaking myself in God's Word, talking and listening to my Heavenly Father, breaking bread with the saints on earth.  All this builds and strengthens faith to prepare us for the trials that are sure to come.  Just as the believers in Paul's day could look to Abel, Enoch, Noah, Abraham in faith, we have our modern day cloud of witnesses and martyrs who have pressed on through incredible odds to bring glory and honor to the name of Jesus: 
    
Hebrews 12:1-2 
 1 Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, 2 fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.


           So there is even a reward--sitting at the right hand of God!  As His child who shares in Christ's sufferings I also share in His riches:
     
Romans 8:17
17 Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory.
           When the going gets tough, the tough aren't tough at all but in humility are made strong by the power of the cross through faith in the One and Only Son of God with a view to eternity.






 
  

Sunday, January 15, 2012

Undo

I was just playing this silly little online game and didn't like the play I made.  I hit the "UNDO" button, and zip, the play was reversed.  I  then made a much better play.

I sure wish life had a fast UNDO button.  Just think, that stupid, hurtful remark slips out from your lips.  You immediately realized the error and unwanted potential consequences and hit the UNDO button.  BAMMM!  You get a do-over, and there is no harm to the relationship.

Sometimes it's even later than when the words slip out.  Not knowing what the other person is going through, their whole story, can make well-intentioned words that would be right in another situation the wrong words for this situation.  This seems to happen to me when I don't stop, breathe, and pray.  The Father knows all aspects of every life circumstance from all perspectives.  Asking Him for the best words, the best next action, is the surest way of not needing the UNDO button.


Saturday, November 5, 2011

Auditory Multi-Tasking

I am not an auditory multi-tasker. (Thank you Erica Watkins and Kelle Chitwood Gibson for the term.) I turn off the radio and get off the phone in traffic. I simply cannot compete with the noise from a TV when trying to talk to someone and am forever having to hit the "mute" button on patient's TVs. For that matter, seeing the brightly colored ever-changing scenes from the TV out of the corner of my eye is distracting even when it is on mute. Have to turn that off!


But I just cannot turn off the noise in my mind.  Trying to turn off all the previous conversations of the day, the messages left for me reminding me of that note that needs writing, that fax that needs sending,  Facebook posts I just cannot let go of-- all interfere and battle for my attention.  I try to listen to my kids but the white noise takes over.  Head hits the pillow  but  voices and images take over my intention to sleep.


In this age of technology there is an increasing need to unplug from all my media, all the requests and demands that take me away from time with my family and time with the Father.  Constant stimulation wears out the God-given fight or flight responses leaving no reserves for the real trials when the come, and they will come.  Never was a verse more appropriate as this:
"Be still and know that I am God."  Psalm 46:10

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Wringing Out The Sponge

Recently a good friend appropriately chastised me about the way I handle, or don't handle, stress. Water just doesn't roll off this back. I'll likely never be accused of being laid back! A few days later he said he spent the weekend thinking about it and realized that it is people like me who soak up that water that rolled off another's back. Hmmmm. Something to think about. But still, I need to learn to let go of that water I soaked up. I'm thinking I need to wring out that sponge of a heart and give it all up to God without trying to take any of it back. 

 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”  Matthew 11:28-30 

HIS burden is LIGHT; so why have I been so weighted down? I must be carrying another's burdens. Does The Deceiver taunt me, knowing that I will gladly carry burdens to the point of breaking down my health, rendering me useless for God's work? Or does Satan even have to work at it; it is my nature to hang on to things--pain, hurts, grudges, bitterness. In my flesh I am helpless to break this stranglehold.

 "I am the LORD your God, who brought you out of Egypt so that you would no longer be slaves to the Egyptians; I broke the bars of your yoke and enabled you to walk with heads held high."  Leviticus 26:13

Oh wow! God already handled this a long, long time ago! He already broke the bars of the yoke I've been carrying. I choose to carry it around, even though the shackles no longer hold it to my head and shoulders. No wonder my neck and arms are so sore.

Last night I unburdened my heart to God, lifting up to Him all the people I could think of suffering with pain and chronic disease. Yes, even praying for myself and especially for my husband Steve. So it's okay for me to hurt with people, empathize, as long as I turn around and hand it all over to God. This morning I woke up happy, rested despite less sleep, and at peace. I have found a new ministry in praying for the saints in pain. And God has given me rest.













Saturday, October 8, 2011

Living with Regrets

My grandmother just entered a hospice tonight and is not expected to make it much more than a couple of days.  My flight to Oregon to see her leaves early this morning.  I want to sit and hold her hand even if she doesn't know me and is barely aware of my presence.

My regret is that I didn't go a couple of years ago when she would still know me.  I should have found a way to take my kids and go see her.  They needed to know their great grandma.  We all need that family connection, especially since her oldest son--my dad-- died so young.  I would think I was too busy, couldn't afford it, etc.  Blah blah blah.  Now she is almost gone and my kids never knew her.

Don't hold back love.  Give and give and give.

I wish I had spent a little more  down time with my mom.  So much of my time was spent caring for her that I didn't have much time for just visiting, playing games, watching movies.  I also should have brought her more fresh flowers.  We women love our flowers.

Don't get me wrong, I am not wallowing in self-pity or guilt, just expressing the "I wish-es" I am going through right now.

"Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead,  I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus."  Phillipians 3:13b-14

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Listed!

Yesterday was a pretty praiseworthy day for the Redding family, albeit bittersweet.

Steve has been listed for transplant.  He was accepted by the transplant committee after quite a battery of medical tests and examinations and labwork, and our insurance company was quick to approve the listing.

This wasn't great news to Steve, probably because it means he really does have a disease that will one day require transplant, and when going about day to day life this reality is easy to sort of deny because he feels pretty good most of the time.

So let's go through the Q & A time:
1.  When will he get a liver?  We don't know.  He doesn't need one right now.   It is amazing how diseased the liver can be and still get the job done.  Fortunately Steve is doing well at this time.

2.  How does someone get on a transplant list?  To get on the list a person must go through a huge, expensive battery of tests, labs, and examinations to show that you are healthy enough to recover from a transplant and take all the anti-rejection meds that will be required for the rest of your life.  After all that their case is presented to the transplant team for approval.  After that the insurance company has to approve it.

3.  How do they determine who gets a liver?  This is determined by the MELD score.


The Model for End-Stage Liver Disease (MELD) system was implemented February 27, 2002 to prioritize patients waiting for a liver transplant. MELD is a numerical scale used for adult liver transplant candidates. The range is from 6 (less ill) to 40 (gravely ill). The individual score determines how urgently a patient needs a liver transplant within the next three months. The number is calculated using the most recent laboratory tests. 

Lab values used in the MELD calculation:
  • Bilirubin, which measures how effectively the liver excretes bile;
  • INR (formally known as the prothrombin time), measures the liver’s ability to make blood clotting factors;
  • Creatinine, which measures kidney function. Impaired kidney function is often associated with severe liver disease.
Within the MELD continuous disease severity scale, there are four levels. As the MELD score increases, and the patient moves up to a new level, a new waiting time clock starts. Waiting time is carried backwards but not forward. If a patient moves to a lower MELD score, the waiting time accumulated at the higher score remains. When a patient moves to a higher MELD score, the waiting time at the lower level is not carried to the new level. The clock at the new level starts at 0. (Example: Patient has a MELD score of 15 and has been at level 11-18 for 100 days. With new laboratory tests, the patient’s MELD score is 22. The patient moves to a new MELD level of 19-24. The patient’s waiting time at this new level starts at 0 days). Waiting time is only used as a tie-breaker when patients have the same MELD score.

The four MELD levels are:
  • greater than or equal to 25
  • 24-19
  • 18-11
  • less than or equal to 10
The great news is that Steve is at a high level 1 or a low level 2 right now.  

4.  So how does he move up the list?  
      As he gets sicker, his labs will reflect that, and his MELD score will go up.  Generally, with his disease, the bilirubin level goes up the fastest, but it has the lowest weighting in the MELD score calculation.  So he could get pretty sick before he moves up the list. That's not good, but...
      We are hopeful that he will continue to stay where he is for a long time.  Since the last infection was precipitated by a surgical procedure and not by the disease itself, we hope that through good diet and righteous livin' he will stay clean, so to speak.

5.  Does our insurance pay for transplant?
      YES!  We are fortunate in that our insurance covers transplant as if it were any other surgery.  Our out-of-pocket expenses are low compared to some plans.  That said, I just paid an additional $600 in bills for the transplant evaluation and received another whopper for $1500.  You know, pocket change.

6.  Wouldn't it be better if he just got a transplant now before getting so sick?  
      Remember, this is a major, major surgery requiring another person lose their life for Steve to keep his.  He needs to be really very sick before such a huge surgery.  Once he has the transplant he will be on anti-rejection medications that supress the immune system for the rest of his life.  Medications have plenty of potential side effects.  And, while the risk is small, there is the risk of the disease recurring. 

7.   How does this disease impact our everyday life.  By and large, there is not the giant change in lifestyle that one might expect.  He is weaker and he gets more tired.  That means he often wants to just rest after work rather than do projects.  It takes him longer to get tasks done.  Quite a bit longer. 
      The kids worry about Dad and wish he could just get a transplant now.  I have to explain it from time to time.  I try hard not to think about it much, but how can I not?  I am in healthcare and have seen and known many people on the liver transplant list.  I had to stop researching on the internet because people's personal stories that I found were a little more than I can handle.    
     
The real story is that God's grace covers us on a daily basis, and He is enough.  He is true to his word when He tells us, "I will never leave you nor forsake you."   When I am afraid, I remember, "Do not fear for I am with you; do not be afraid for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my strong right arm."   

I leave you with this. When I start to focus on negative things, Phillipians 4:8 comes to mind, and I hope it does for you too: "Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things."  AMEN!